Until recently, I spent most of my adult life serving in the Christian church. For many years my husband was a children's Pastor with the Assemblies of God. I really thought I understood the Bible.
Becoming members of a Messianic congregation 9 months ago was sort of surprising for us. It's been a very eye opening, and often humbling experience. I feel like a baby again, reading the Word with fresh awareness and a clearer understanding. I'm hungry to dig below the layers of the shallow teachings that I occasionally sat under and sometimes even taught myself.
Yahweh has torn down my pride and is building me up again piece by piece for His glory. As a Christian I often struggled to read the Bible. It didn't interest me then. I approached study time with an enormous pressure to read large amounts of scripture each day as a way of showing my devotion, never really understanding much of it. I could never keep up and would feel frustrated with myself for falling short of my own expectations of spiritual accomplishment.
Where I lacked in study time, I was super strong in my prayer life. I could pour out my heart as naturally as if I was conversing with my best friend.
My dad died when I was an infant and I took ever scripture about the fatherless to heart. I saw God as my Daddy and I climbed in His lap often through prayer. I knew Him intimately this way and I heard His voice without question.
When we first became Messianic I was hungry for the Word and digging deep for this burried treasure. Yet, my prayer life was taking a hit. I often struggled with His name. For 31 years He had been Jesus, God or sometimes Christ to me. Now it seemed like He had several names and I never know which one to use or even how to pronounce some of them correctly. It was a huge blow to my prayer life as I lacked confidence addressing my very best friend. He suddenly felt unfamiliar to me and yet I was drawn to each new insight I had of Him.
I'm sharing this now because I want any readers who stumble across this blog to know with certainty that I do not consider myself an expert on anything. If I have anything valuable to offer you, it's in my vulnerability and honesty through this very new and special journey as a Torah observing believer in Yeshua.
This site isn't going to go deep in the Word because I want to build my confidence there again before "teaching" anyone or presuming I have any wisdom to offer. To dig into Torah check out my links in the sidebar for great bloggers more knowledgeable than me. Talit Ministries is my Rabbi's site and he offers a wonderful feature called Ask the Rabbi. If you have questions of Torah I recommend you ask him.
What I most want to share with readers is my adventure with modesty and this beautiful circle of influence I have right here in my home. I started covering my head only recently. I now wear a head covering ever day. I only just completed my first week in only dresses. It's crazy how one week can completely shift your paradigm. I don't think I realized before how much my little girls (and even my son) where watching me to define and example beauty.
If they are going to copy me I want no regrets. That's why this picture is a beautiful sight to me.
Modesty is something I hope they'll always imitate.
